The Scapegoat.
In scapegoat, one of the authority figures (usualy a parent) has made a decision that somebody in the family has to be the 'bad one'.
A parent makes one child 'bad' and then looks for things (sometimes real, but most often imagined) that are wrong.
The scapegoat child, unable to defend himself: is vulnerable & weak or the child acts out.
At times the parent puts on blame because he cannot stand the child who has traits that are similar to his own or similar to a disliked relative.
Other children in the family pick up the scapegoating pattern and join in hurting the scapegoated child.
Aggression in families creates decrease in self-esteem in the children. “The aggressive person is one who tries to dominate others. Aggressiveness can take several forms. The aggressive person is frequently rude and humiliating, (e.g., “What do you mean, you aren’t going to do it?”), or the aggressive person can become self-righteous (e.g., “I am only insisting on this for your own good.”), or she/he can resort to being manipulative (e.g., “If you refuse, what will everyone think of you?”).”
Scapegoating is a huge social problem contributing to the hate that exists in the world.
There is scapegoating of whole groups of people when there is prejudice or stereotyping.
s to families and to society.
My drawing:
In my series of Human suffering....
My first drawing of the series depicts the crucifixion.
Jesus was the scapegoat within his society for political, social and theological reasons.
He who lived a life of peace and love had his life manipulated to be perceived by many as so wrong that he was crucified.
This has happened to other prophets in the past and present... to groups of people who have been massacred due to race, religion, sexual orientation.
When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.
— Peter Marshall
“Are you a Scapegoat in your Family?
Understand the dynamics and deal with your anger.
If you were designated the black sheep of the family, studying this dynamic is the way to release yourself from its poison. Learn to recognize the negative family patterns of blame and shame and vow to stop doing them in this generation!
Stop trying to win the favor of a parent who granted you with 'conditional love' or rejected you.
The best you can do is understand the underlying dynamic of your parent and try to come to peace with this on your own. Don’t expect your parent to “own” up to their mistreatment. Most likely, they will only deny and blame you again for being ungrateful.
Some children who were a scapegoat have as little to do with the abusive parent as they can when they grow up. Refusing to remain in an abusive situation is a healthy choice.
In scapegoat, feelings of guilt, aggression, blame and suffering are transferred away from a person or group so as to fulfill an unconscious drive to resolve or avoid such bad feelings. This is done by the displacement of responsibility and blame to another who serves as a target for blame both for the scapegoat and his supporters. The scapegoat process can be understood as an example of the Drama Triangle concept [Karpman, 1968].
The perpetrator's drive to displace and transfer responsibility away from himself may not be experienced with full consciousness - self-deception is often a feature. The target's knowledge that he is being scapegoated builds slowly and follows events. The scapegoater's target experiences exclusion, ostracism or even expulsion.
In so far as the process is unconscious it is more likely to be denied by the perpetrator. In such cases, any bad feelings - such as the perpetrator's own shame and guilt - are also likely to be denied. Scapegoating frees the perpetrator from some self-dissatisfaction and provides some narcissistic gratification to him. It enables the self-righteous discharge of aggression. Scapegoaters tend to have extra-punitive characteristics [Kraupl-Taylor, 1953].
Note: I received much of the information above ("Are you a scapegoat in your family") -from another site-but have since lost the source. I would love to credit the author. Please let me know if you know. Thank you, C. Olivos
